I feel like I am the same person from one or two or five years ago but when I reflect and think about what I've gone through, I realize just how much I've grown and changed. Most for the better, but not all.
Am I the person that I wanted to be when I was younger? Certainly, I'm on the right track in terms of career and maybe goals. Didn't plan on still being single. But overall closer to what I had hoped for than not. If I could speak with my younger self, would my younger self be satisfied? Proud? Disappointed? Where would I fall short of my expectations? Where would I have exceeded them? I'm not sure.
The last couple of weeks have left me really wondering what type of person, what kind of doctor I will be when I finish my [neverending] education.
Will I be the doctor that I wanted to be?
What kind of doctor do I even want to be?
Not what field or where I am working or how much I'm making. But more along the lines of how I interact with my patients. How I treat my coworkers and how much time I spend with my family. I'm sure that the farther along I get down this path, the more my goals will evolve and change and even be replaced with others. I will realize that some of those goals were foolish. Some are impossible. But a few will be worth keeping.
So this will be my way of recording what my medical school self wants my future doctor self to be. So pay attention future me! Pick and choose wisely which of these to keep and which to discard. But never thoughtlessly. Remember, there was a time that you thought each of these were important enough to write down.
#1 Write a letter to the family of every single patient that dies under your care.
It doesn't have to be long or particularly eloquent. It can be based off of a template. In fact, have a template including useful information (how to deal with social security, what to do with a death certificate, etc). But write one. Always.
